“It’s Go Time!” Izzy Mandelbaum famously repeated in a Jerry Seinfeld episode about the ridiculousness of hyper-competition. The episode hinges on the ultra-competitive behavior of an 81-year-old man, his 60-something-year-old son, and his father, who the audience might guess is over 100 years old.
Over-exertion lands all the old men in a hospital, expanding Seinfeld’s comedic commentary. EVERYTHING is a competition to the elderly Mandelbaum men. And it’s hilarious.
Competition doesn’t usually exist for patients in a hospital and, as a general rule, the older and wiser people among us abandon competitive behaviors in lieu of authentic connection. It’s funny to imagine a world like Seinfeld creates.
So, why then, is the hyper-competitive nature of youth sports involvement anything but funny? We, as a society, have decided that competitive engagement is our litmus for valuation, and more and more fun and laughter isn’t part of that calculation. It is serious business, like actual invest-lots-of-money-in-it business, and getting more serious every year.
The truth of what happens in hospitals and the posture of most people as they age is that what truly matters is connection, not competition. You don’t hear people on their death bed asking to arm wrestle or reviewing lifetime statistics for athletic prowess. They ask to see their loved ones and connect with them one more time.
Yes, it is impressive to achieve greatness in something. Yes, the games we play are more fun because of competition, but we are slowly losing our sense of humor about what should be far less serious than we are letting it become.
Especially when it comes to kids and teenagers, the adults need to set their own competitive tendencies aside, or work to grow out of them, and help the kids to adopt a healthier relationship with their competitive tendencies. That happens with humor and humility.
It’s more than okay to see mistakes with light laughter and, in fact, kids who learn to see the humor in their efforts move past their mistakes more easily. Connecting in humor with the coaches or parents who are involved in their sporting journey, lightens the load for growing athletes and increases their chances of reaching their potential.
Humility is the beautiful bi-product of pushing through embarrassment or “humiliation” and allowing growth in vulnerable self-deprecation. Competing in sports offers ample opportunity for the growth of humility. It seems counter-intuitive to embrace humility over an ultra-competitive stance, but a choice to do that might actually lead to better leadership potential later in life.
Ironically, the laughter we want to abandon for serious pursuit, may actually be the key to achieving a competitive edge. And, in case it doesn’t, if we allow ourselves to lighten up a little, at least we’ll be able to laugh about it in the end.
Meagan Frank 
Leave a comment