Rebel without a clause

Ok, cheesy I know, but I am most obviously too far removed from all of these words that I love…and I miss. I didn’t realize that the last time I posted on a blog of my own was back in July. Excuses have been too easy to come by and the de-railers (AKA children) are insistent upon giving me another reason (right now!) to stop typing and to attend to their needs. The mother in me expects that I get up from this chair, shut the laptop and continue chipping away at the incessant chores that are still here even after I spent ten hours yesterday laboring. The writer in me wants to quietly slip out of the room, with laptop securely hidden under my arm, and find a secluded room where I can hide. The filthy bathroom comes to mind…or the back of my closet…

Shoot! It didn’t work…they found me, and I probably couldn’t have lasted much longer with their incredibly effective flushing tactic “Mom!! Mom!! Where are you?!! Mom!! MOOOMMM!! Mom, we need you!!!”

Ok, I have tried a new strategy, but it is going to cost me $5 for each of them after they are done. Oh well, can you really put a price on solitary time to write?

I’ve come to a conclusion, and I am unsure I’ll ever be able to pay the bills writing, but to be honest, I am starting not to care. I tried, through the summer, to self-promote and diligently finish the proposal for my marriage book. The proposal package is done, and the unwitting publishers will start to get my reams of paper soon. I will, of course, be thrilled if someone picks it up and wants me to keep writing about it, but I am starting to lose the momentum to self-promote.

SHHH! Don’t tell the publishers because that could preclude me from being picked up. What I mean by that statement is that I am bored with having to be just about marriage. The experts (probably just the loudest talkers) have suggested that if I have a twitter account, and a website, that the material I put out there has to be devoted to marriage topics, if that is the focus of my book. GAG!!! Yes, the bulk of the book is about what I was able to discover about marriage, but I think more important to me was what I discovered about myself. Let’s be honest…all I really want to talk about is myself anyway because everything else just bores me. Just kidding! But seriously, I find it too narrowing to be forced to write about only one aspect of my multi-dimensional life. Yes, I am married, and too happily to be of interest to the masses. I have been searching for drama the last few months, but damned if the things that I found in my research actually worked!! We’re both faithful, selfless and generally focused on the good of the family. Why in the world would anyone be interested in hearing about that?

So here I sit…needing to write, but rebelling against instruction that it has to be about a singular topic. That is not what writing has ever been for me, and I miss just writing to write. This site: “What the blog is going on around here?” is my new oasis. I want to be here often. I refuse to conform to a “New Year’s Resolution” that I will write daily and that I will cover X, Y or Z. My quote for the day is: “When we cease to cling to our own expectations and conclusions and begin to flow with life, then we begin to let God’s life live in us.” That would be cool! I’ll let you know how it goes…

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