My computer broke Friday. I turned it on and the screen of DEATH was holding my documents and my life hostage. No matter how I held it, what buttons I pushed or how nicely I talked to it, the blue screen simply stared back at me with a mocking tone. I was forced to travel to my son’s hockey tournament without my computer. That meant no private internet surfing…no writing…no social networking…no emails. Nothing. All the things that I was looking forward to doing on my mini-vacation were not possible because my laptop was frozen. I felt practically paralyzed and alone. Frustration didn’t change the color of my screen so I had to think back to what I ever used to do with my time…before I had my laptop.
I relished the quiet time to read as the kids were falling asleep in the hotel room and I took an incredible two-hour nap between games. I went swimming, worked out, hung out, ordered room service and looked at Lake Superior from the warmth of the hotel lobby. I survived!!! No wait…I thrived. It was a wonderful and relaxing way to spend a couple of days, and I didn’t feel the internal clock begging me to get online…to check those emails…to update blogs…because I couldn’t.
I could have used the computer to write, but I liked the pace of the weekend without internet. Sometimes I wish I could just unhook on my own and stay disconnected. In my heart of hearts I know that I will have a hard time doing that when my computer is back up and running.
I delivered my computer to the equivalent of the laptop emergency room this morning, and I am confident that it will be up and running in the coming days. In the meantime, I have stolen a few minutes on my husband’s computer to stay connected, and I am sure I’ll keep doing that until I can be connected on my terms, but my new goal will be to be as peacefully connected as I am when I am disconnected.