My husband hasn’t read my marriage book yet. (The one being released this next week!) He’s surprisingly emotionless about the fact that so many other people will likely read this book before he does….
Intimate stories. Truths about our relationship. The ugly underbelly. It is a window into our marriage, and the curtains are pulled all the way back. My husband is not panicked about reading our story, and it doesn’t even bother me that he’s simply going about his life. You would think he should feel some sense of paranoia that his story is about to be told, to the world, and he doesn’t even know what it says. Instead of angst, he is calmer than a stagnant puddle.
Maybe I’m not reacting appropriately either. I should likely feel more offended than I do. A more normal reaction would be to strategically place book drafts around the house: on his pillow, slid inside his laptop, under his plate at the dinner table. I don’t really feel like I need to do that though.
He and I have talked about this book, and our marriage. A lot.
“I live it,” he says, with a loving and genuine smile “I don’t need to read about it.”
It’s true. Everything I have written about our lives has been what he has experienced firsthand. He has patiently listened to me read passionate blogposts, or snippets of chapter drafts. He has debated with me, shouldered my tears and done everything he can do to support this project.
“I need to run these research parties, and you have to watch the kids,” I would tell him.
“You got it,” he’d agree.
“I have a meeting with the publisher on the phone today, can you take the kids upstairs.”
“Hey, I just bought these new pants for my presentations and they are way too long. Do you know how to hem?” I asked him today.
“I sure do,” he said, and I handed over my pants.
Welcome to our marriage: Unconventional, unpredictable and, for all intents and purposes, genuinely entertaining.
I don’t need him to have read the book yet to know that what is in those pages is what we both know about our marriage. I don’t need him to have pored over my words to know he is listening to all I have to say.
We are about ready to share our marriage with anyone interested in reading about it. There are 70 or so other marriages that will be in there too, but ours is the only one with our true names on it. The truth is, we’ve been ready to share our marriage for a really long time, and we are excited for what’s to come. We have absolutely been in this together, from the beginning, and I don’t need my husband to read the book to know he cares about it.
As an aside…he does plan to read the book…and I’ll make sure to report back his reaction when he finally does.