My husband hasn’t read my marriage book yet. (The one being released this next week!) He’s surprisingly emotionless about the fact that so many other people will likely read this book before he does….
Intimate stories. Truths about our relationship. The ugly underbelly. It is a window into our marriage, and the curtains are pulled all the way back. My husband is not panicked about reading our story, and it doesn’t even bother me that he’s simply going about his life. You would think he should feel some sense of paranoia that his story is about to be told, to the world, and he doesn’t even know what it says. Instead of angst, he is calmer than a stagnant puddle.
Maybe I’m not reacting appropriately either. I should likely feel more offended than I do. A more normal reaction would be to strategically place book drafts around the house: on his pillow, slid inside his laptop, under his plate at the dinner table. I don’t really feel like I need to do that though.
He and I have talked about this book, and our marriage. A lot.
“I live it,” he says, with a loving and genuine smile “I don’t need to read about it.”
It’s true. Everything I have written about our lives has been what he has experienced firsthand. He has patiently listened to me read passionate blogposts, or snippets of chapter drafts. He has debated with me, shouldered my tears and done everything he can do to support this project.
“I need to run these research parties, and you have to watch the kids,” I would tell him.
“You got it,” he’d agree.
“I have a meeting with the publisher on the phone today, can you take the kids upstairs.”
“Absolutely.”
“Hey, I just bought these new pants for my presentations and they are way too long. Do you know how to hem?” I asked him today.
“I sure do,” he said, and I handed over my pants.
Welcome to our marriage: Unconventional, unpredictable and, for all intents and purposes, genuinely entertaining.
I don’t need him to have read the book yet to know that what is in those pages is what we both know about our marriage. I don’t need him to have pored over my words to know he is listening to all I have to say.
We are about ready to share our marriage with anyone interested in reading about it. There are 70 or so other marriages that will be in there too, but ours is the only one with our true names on it. The truth is, we’ve been ready to share our marriage for a really long time, and we are excited for what’s to come. We have absolutely been in this together, from the beginning, and I don’t need my husband to read the book to know he cares about it.
As an aside…he does plan to read the book…and I’ll make sure to report back his reaction when he finally does.
Meagan Frank 
You are adorable. In the most bright, unique, courageous sense of the word, too! Cant WAIT to read more of you!!
Brynne,
You are officially in the running for my BFF! You are awfully sweet…and of course an astute observer too!
It’s so great that your husband is very supportive of your work. I’m looking forward to reading your book! 🙂
Thanks Sam.
MMF
I think I might be reticent to read a book written by my spouse (if I had one) if it was about intimate parts of my/our lives. Or maybe I am projecting and hoping that the people that I write about in my book don’t feel too passionate about reading about themselves.
I hope he reads it.
Best of luck with your book; it’s officially on my own to-read list.
Thanks Teresa! He will absolutely read it, and he and I have had quite the laught about the fact that he has run out of time before the release. He thought he would get it done, but then overextended himself with so much other stuff.
MMF
I hope you know how fortunate you are! My husband, bless his generous soul, fully supports my writing but I write fiction. He would understandably draw the line at so intimate a discussion as yours 😉
Yes, Cathy. I do know how incredibly fortunate I am and that is the main reason I had to do what I did to save our marriage!
MMF
Very funny post! you must be so excited! Congratulations!
Thanks Kathy!
Yes, I am thrilled…and exhausted…and overwhelmed…and feeling a little unprepared for what this is all going to mean for me. There’s no going back now though!
MMF
Meagan: This was your best blog. My husband read it and laughed. It sounds like our marriage. He’s got to be a patient, easy going guy!
Molly,
You make me smile! Yes, he is patient, easy going and the source of much laughter for me.
MMF
Oh yes, I would most definitely not get that reaction from my D. If I were to write a book, I would have a co-author who would probably try to change everything I wrote. However, your blog describes Pudge so well. He is so easy going about so many things. I believe I married the anti-pudge.:) I am really excited to read the book, and now know where to send my pants to be hemmed!
HA! You are so right…Big D would have to have his say about any marriage book…I’m surprised he hasn’t offered to write some of mine!! Countdown to visiting you…I can hardly stand it!!
I think that men just have different ways to show empathy…nothing to worry about!!!
HI! Just a quick note to let you know that I gave you a blog award 🙂
http://theslightdetour.blogspot.com/2011/03/friday-field-trip-eggs-and-awards.html
Oops, I think I commented on the wrong post below. But a husband who hems your pants is adorable. Can’t wait to read the book :).
Thank you…and a hemming husband is pretty remarkable 🙂
Congrats on the book! My husband goes long periods of time without reading my blog. It’s funny because sometimes I think it helps him catch up on certain events. Usually that “passing in the night” stuff that I always forget to tell him until he’s asleep.
Maybe I need to stop pulling him to the side, a million times a day, to read to him the latest paragraph…that would make him curious about what I have been writing. I love this, “I always forget to tell him until he’s asleep.” Do you tell him while he’s sleeping…then you can say you told him.
Meagan,
I need to read your book–let’s see if I can get it together to order it. Lately friends have been falling in my lap with dire, brutally funny and hard truths about their marriages but maybe that’s because I’ve been admitting mine. What I’m really interested in is the nitty gritty of how couples maneuver successfully through all the elephants and projected elephants, etc., since by now I get it that half, if not more of perceived trouble is mine.
My husband is famous for saying, “just write about me…” so I laughed reading your post. Look forward to reading your book.
I don’t believe in accidents, and I am confident you have come across this blog…and this book at the right time. Especially since the stories are flowing all around you! I look so forward to getting to know you, and your writing, much better. Thanks so much for stopping by!
MMF