4 Ways to Grow Joy

While driving through a holiday light display, my daughter’s boyfriend commented, “There is so much joy during Christmastime.”

“Amen, brotha’!” I silently thought, although, as I’ll explain later, I should not have stayed silent.

The last few weeks I’ve been chin-stroking about the most impactful ways to build joy personally and in all the relationships I hold dear. Not just for the season, but for a lifetime. Here are four strategies I’ve used in my marriage, with our kids, with my friends, and in my leadership roles.

Allow and Create Space for Joy to Arrive

Joy is not something you can give people, and you can’t command someone, “Come on now, be joyful!” It is, however, something we can create space to reveal. That means being a calm, still and trusting place for vulnerability (which is a key to joy by the way). In my case, it also means literally creating space. Space in our home and at our play-filled business, for people to relax and open up to notice the joy they carry but may not always express.

Match Enthusiasm When Someone is Joyful

Laugh when people laugh. Jump with joy when those around you jump. Check for the fire in someone’s eyes when they share something important with you and work to encourage them to see joy in their passions. See, this is where I failed the other night when a joy declaration floated up from the back seat. I should have shouted with joy in response. It is no joke that when shared with others, sorrows are halved and joys are doubled.

Relish Vulnerability

Small children experience joy easier than teenagers or adults. Their innocence makes them fearless to try new things and they readily laugh when surprises happen. Life has a way of making rigid what was once flexible and the vulnerable and brave spirit often disappears. Too many teens and adults find it extremely difficult to do something silly for fear of judgment. Choosing to be vulnerable, like jumping in a puddle, running with a kite, or playing tag on a playground allows for childlike innocence to reboot for us. It reminds us how we are naturally and joyfully wired.

Embrace Novelty

I decided at my last birthday, the one where I turned 49, that I would do something new every day for the entire year. It is actually not as hard as it sounds, and because I have found such joy in the novelty, I think I’ll do it every day for the rest of my life. Today’s moment happened when I played with an 8-foot inflatable snowman. Doing and learning something new each day makes life interesting, purposeful and definitely more joyful.

Do you need to see that there is science to back up my anecdotal observations about the importance of working joy into our daily lives? Check out last week’s CBS Sunday Morning story on aging. It brought me so much joy and I hope it does the same for you!

Joy is the topic of the first chapter of my book, For the Team: Improving the Youth Sports Experience for Everyone.

If you plan to share my joy by purchasing a copy, why wait? You can pre-order now! Thank you for doubling my joy with your support.