Seventeen years ago… TODAY!
The following is an excerpt from my newly released book, Choosing to Grow: Through Marriage:
WAIT!! First, I should probably explain that this happened on April 6, 1994, and with a boy I barely liked.
It was a rather raucous party, including one of the favorite drinking games of the house: “caps.” When I walked in the room, Frankie was sitting against a wall with a red solo cup between his straddled legs and he was donning a fantastic pair of goggles, the kind scientists wear for dangerous experiments. It was most definitely a side of him I had not yet seen, and I couldn’t help but to laugh out loud. He jumped up, excited to see me, and obviously feeling the many beverages he had consumed that day. He chattered and chattered and was interesting and funny. I started to want to know more about him. He offered me something to drink, not knowing I was not a drinker, and I told him I was preparing for an exam the following morning.
“Speaking of,” I said, “I should probably get going. I need to get some sleep, I am pretty worn out.”
“Oh, okay,” he said, a little deflated. “Hey, can you drive my jeep home for me?”
I agreed, and he and I left the party with me behind the wheel of his jeep.
On the way to his apartment building I explained I was going to bed early because I had a test the next day, and he offered to walk me the two blocks back to my dorm. As we walked, it started to slightly drizzle, and the rain awoke spring fragrances, including the pungent smell of hyacinth. It was a warm rain, and incredibly refreshing.
We stood outside the dorm building getting misted and for a few minutes we struggled with an awkward goodbye. I felt an uncomfortable nervousness when he focused his eye contact.
“Would you mind if I kissed you goodnight?” he asked.
“Sure,” I shrugged, thinking it would make an awkward moment a little more awkward, but then I could be on my way.
He leaned in, closing his eyes on his approach, and I stood…anticipating nothing.
And then there was something. A big something. I was immediately overwhelmed with a sense of eternity, destiny and inevitability. It was a simple first goodbye kiss and a lifelong promise all at once. He backed away, clueless of the transformation I had just endured and I stood, literally frozen, as he made his way back toward his apartment. My arms were heavy, my mouth tingled, and I knew with every fiber of my being I had just kissed the man I was going to marry.
I lugged myself up the stairs to my room, lumbered in the door and tried, without the right words, to describe to my roommate the impact of what should have been a simple moment. Without the means to deal with overwhelming emotion, I did what I always do…I pulled out my journal and, slightly shaking, wrote the following lines:
It wasn’t on a special day
It wasn’t for a bet
I didn’t expect it and
I didn’t plan, but once it happened
I wish it was frozen in time.
I’ve felt a rush before of
Both adrenalin and nerves,
But this was different.
This was much more.
There was more than the physical act involved.
It penetrated deeper than the surface of my lips.
It did more than take my breath away.
I felt dizzy.
Why that kiss?
It wasn’t my first kiss, and it wasn’t long.
It was perfect!
I think it was you.
You made that kiss the most incredible thing I’ve ever
There are really no words to describe it,
But when I close my eyes I can feel
Just a fraction of what I felt just then,
And it makes me smile.
Thank you for that kiss.
In my journal, the poem is surrounded by other literary attempts, and I have to admit it is not my best writing of the time. My lack of eloquence further illuminates the distraction the kiss had created.
To read additional excerpts or to learn more about the book, visit my website: www.meaganfrank.com
copyright Meagan Frank 2011 All Rights Reserved