This has been a big year in our house. A title-changing year, in fact. I abandoned my title as coach and I took up the title of author.
Part of me is glad I didn’t know how hard that was going to be… I might not have done it. The momentum of my life, my job, our income was comfortable and the routine, although insane, was predictable.
Nothing is predictable any more.
Part of the reason is that, although I’m getting closer to how I want to define myself as a writer, I’m definitely not there yet. I am working to find a way to use my writing in a way to best contribute to this family, to make a difference in the world at large and to satisfy the deeply-rooted desires of my heart.
In a fantasy world, I would be able to write all day, my children would play happily in the background as they soaked up the intellectual, positively emotional and physical world around them. My husband would be readily available for banter and support and I would be bringing in enough money to feed, clothe and house the members of our family.
That fantasy world will never exist, so I am left wondering how a writer can successfully contribute to the needs of a young, growing family. The reality is that our children need a caretaker, chaffeur, chef, scheduler and emotional sounding board right now, and I’ve changed my professional title so that I can better care for them.
I have re-prioritized my time to put our children ahead of a job that pays consistent money, and I have to believe I’ve made the right choice.
I had the opportunity, in the last few weeks, to meet, in person, a woman I have come to admire greatly through our online blogging connection. (as an aside, she is just as incredible in person!) She and I were talking about how hard it is to be fully ourselves when we are consistently pulled by the demands of the children we mother.
So here I sit…with the roles I am, and the way I feel they should be prioritized.
I am a wife.
I am a mother.
I am a writer.
I told Big Sprout the other day that it is so important to discover who you are. So many people do a whole lot of stuff that has nothing to do with who they are. I believe it is God’s design that we do who we are.
So, I’ve found who I am, and my next challenge is to do life in a way that celebrates that discovery while providing an opportunity for everyone else in my house to do the same thing.
I am open to doing more…just as long as I can still find time to do, and be, who I am.
Check out my latest identity creation…Meagan Frank-author website
For all the Blog Ball Dancers…thanks for visiting, and here is the magic bookshelf:
Meagan Frank 
It’s taken me a long time to figure out not just who I am, but what makes me happy. And now it’s about figuring out how to make that happen. I call myself a writer, too, but I’m more prone to editing and wish I had more time for both. And lately, I re-tapped into the creative side and embarked on a handmade adventure, sewing baby quilts and wallets and pillows… thing is, I love doing it. Even if it won’t be my bread and butter, I’m finding happiness in being tactile and creative.
I applaud you, Meagan for stretching and pursuing life’s new direction. Congrats on all of it and I wish you the very best.
Thanks Teresa! It reallly is huge to identify who we really are…whatever that might be. There is something powerfully true about “It’s not really work when you are doing something you love.” I am impressed by your many creative talents…maybe there are other hidden talents in each of us and our job is to bring them to light. Thanks for commenting! MMF
I too have been on a journey to redfine myslef as my children get a little older and I’m now without little ones underfoot during school hours. It is a balance though, because they need me just as much if not more when they come home. I have found writing to be something that I really love and am figuring out what and where I want to do it, my blog being a begining for me. The nice thing about my wrtiing and my blog is that my family is a little involved in it, my husband, who is an editor by professon very gently edits my blog and my kids are my muses and my biggeest cheering section! But, I completly relate to this post and always enjoy reading your writing and look foward to see where your path will lead you!
Kathy, I sense that my journey will look really different when my kids are finally all in school. It is only a few short months away 🙂 I am glad you and I are on this writing journey at the same time! MMF
Dear Meagan, Your husband and children are so lucky to have a wife and mother who gives so much thought and care to them and you are lucky to have found yourself. I loved what you said about “God’s design to do who we are”.
That alone is a priceless gift and it’s great that you can show them by example.
Your writing is so thoughtful and down to earth. Great job.
Love, Joyce
Thanks so much Joyce! That was my favorite sentence too, and there is so much to think about when we say it. I appreciate your support…more than you know! MMF
I started the redefinition of self a while ago. Having found my writer’s voice, I fit my life around my writing, which means there is lots of give and take and ball juggling, sometimes compromise, and sometimes I want to run away and spend endless hours along with my muse. I love this persona; it is as if this is who I was traveling to be… not easy as you stated, but darn worth it… This post is an affirmation not just to you, but to all of us on the our own quests.
Brenda…It is nice to hear that it is possible to pursue, even if it means it is necessary to juggle and shift and compromise. It IS worth it, and it helps to hear that other writers feel that way too! MMF
Although I have always written and my best friend told me consistently I should be a writer, it wasn’t until I was home with a disability that the realisation that I could be a full time writer happened. Three reasons. My children are grown, I have a small income and some available time. Your priorities are great if you stick to them and who you are will never change. An excellent post.
Elizabeth, You are right…who we are will never change…and I hope I am able to simply stick to the priorities of who I am. MMF
Lovely website! Congrats!!!! 🙂
Thanks Sam! The content management is so easy with this website. I’m so glad the company considered doing website design for an author!
I put off doing many things while my kids were growing up. Now, my youngest is going to kindergarten and I’m wondering what the heck to do with my life.
It’s scary. And exhilarating. It’s wonderful to get to know yourself all over again.
My last kid starts kindergarten in the fall, and I am sure things will look much different this time next year…you and I will have much to share! MMF
Congratulations – it sounds like a great year. I’ll go and check out your new website now.
Thanks Helen! Glad you stopped by! MMF
Nice post…words I needed to hear. I’m going to print this post and put it in my studio and bedroom, in case I need a knock in the head from time to time. And the studio is clean now, by the way. Thank you for the inspiration.
I think we need to keep writing that inspiration for each other…it’s sometimes hard to find motivation alone:) MMF
Hi, Meagan. I’m stopping by as part of the She Write blog hop. Nice blog. Sometimes it’s hard to really pin down who we are. Being a mother, wife, and writer are my top three roles too.
Thanks for popping in! MMF
Hi Megan, just dancing during the Blog Hop to check out your site. Very nice…will be back to read more posts.
Nice moves, Nancy! MMF
>I abandoned my title as coach and I took up the title of author.
Yay! And it does get easier. And then all the sudden they are grown and you have all the time in the world to write, and you’d give anything to have them home again.
🙂
You’re so right, Meg! I am trying to be mindful of that and soak up the time they are here. MMF
Choosing to Grow. What a perfect title. I think you’ve hit on the universal question of all mothers, wives, women. Looking forward to reading more!
Thanks Deb! I had to think long and hard about that title, and it does fit what I am trying to do with my life 🙂 MMF
It took me a while to be happy to be me, I really like your post. I am so pleased to have found your blog through She Writes. Thank you for visiting my blog today.
Welcome, SarahJane! Happiness is a journey for pretty much everyone I know. Maybe because we are told for too long what is supposed to make us happy, and eventually we have to decide for ourselves! MMF
Great post. I hear what you’re saying. I’m there too. I’m fortunate enough to be able to earn some money from writing plays but I also use storytelling to enrich my children’s lives, telling them stories or helping them with their own. Creativity is such an important part of our psyche that it deserves to be embraced and celebrated in everything we do.
Have danced over from the SW ball. Looking forward to reading more of what you have to say.
Fi
Your children are lucky that you use your storytelling and creative abilities to parent. I think too many people think parenting is a science, and not an art. I think there needs to be both…and then plenty of love too! MMF
I’ve finally figured out both who I am and what I want to do. The only thing I haven’t figured out is how to do it and be it and still find time to sleep. If I figure that part out, I’ll get back to you. Good luck on your journey. Glad to have found you through the SheWrites magic bookshelf.
Susan Bearman
Two Kinds of People
Ahh…
Sleep is so overrated!! MMF
Hi Meagan, best of luck with your writing and growing. You have a lovely site here.
Thanks Deborah…I love that you used the word lovely (that is one of my favorite words) 🙂 MMF
Over here from Bloggers’ Ball. Good luck on your new venture as author!
Thanks Catherine! MMF
There is something nice about being able to admit to yourself, “I am a writer”, isn’t there?
Visiting from the blogger’s ball, although I’ve been here before 🙂
That is a really fun thing to be able to say…a much harder thing to define! MMF
You are a visionary with a refreshing point of view very much needed in our troubled, doubtful times. Thank you to you and your writing.
Thanks Cathy! I don’t know that I’ve thought of myself as a visionary…more like a wandering soul. It’s nice to get that vote of confidence. MMF
Thank you for your post…I agree that putting the children first is so important. In the ‘big scheme of life’, we have so very little time to directly nurture them, and it’s at a time when they are most vulnerable. Since I’ve always been a teacher as well as a mom, I have never regretted for a second time I spent on them…there will be more than enough ‘alone’ time when they’re gone! My summers are my true ‘mommy time’, and I squeeze in thime for myself and husband, too.
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