For a few months on Wednesdays (or as close to Wednesday as I can manage) I have chronicled the ways I’ve chosen to grow through my life. It is a snapshot…a bite-sized version of intentional steps I take to improve myself. Very often it is not a painless process.
Some weeks are better than others, and I never shy away from the growth that is uncomfortable.
I Choose to Grow the same way I deal with my digital pictures. It’s easy to take hundreds and thousands of digital pictures and then delete all the photos that are not perfect. I make a point to keep at least one awkward picture with every grouping that I print. The awkward photos tell a story too…and I am not good at pretending that everything is perfect.
Awkward Picture of the Week
Saturday night, while I sat at my writing desk, Big Sprout, our nearly twelve-year-old son, came in and sat on the wooden music chair my daughter uses to practice her french horn. This is rather common behavior for him. My husband trailed quietly behind him and lay down on the foot of our bed.
I should have thought, “This is going to be an important moment.”
I didn’t know that.
The conversation started rather simply… Big Sprout asked questions about how his dad and I thought he played in his two hockey games that day.
There was nothing about that conversation that I had planned.
After more dialogue than I can explain here, I hadn’t planned to say, “Your chances of making it the NHL are pretty slim.” I hadn’t planned to watch his face sink and his eyes well. I hadn’t planned to get the look of “What the hell were you thinking?” from my husband. I hadn’t planned to feel like the worst mother in the world.
I scrambled back to better parenting when I explained to him that it wasn’t that I didn’t believe he could, but that it only matters that he put action behind what he believes about himself. I believe he is destined for great things, and I will do anything he needs to help him get there…but the work it’s going to take, has to come from him.
Doubting and dissecting every part of that conversation led to a blogpost on my sports blog. Dialogue started. Debate began. And now, that snapshot of parenting will be the feature topic of conversation on Hey Coach Tony’s ESPN radio show this upcoming Saturday morning. I hadn’t planned that either.
Sharing that awkward moment of our lives has led to growth for a lot of people…and had I just pretended it didn’t happen, the story would have ended there. Instead…the story continues.
To our son’s credit, he chose a better reaction than I could have possibly scripted for him. Instead of wilting with my comments or being pushed down because of them, he chose a new attitude about what hockey (and work) mean to him right now. He may not completely understand how it will pay off for him in his life, but he made a step on Sunday toward embracing work ethic…determination…grit. I couldn’t have been prouder of him… nor more relieved.
I didn’t take a picture of my son as he sat on that chair, with the background sillhouette of my husband on the bed. I didn’t need to. That image is a permanent part of me now.
I’m not sure who grew more in that moment, me or our son, but I know, without a doubt, we both made a choice to grow because of it.
What sorts of choices did you make to grow this week?
I would love to hear how you are choosing to grow. Either comment here, or send me an email: firstname.lastname@example.org.
Copyright 2012 Meagan Frank www.meaganfrank.com Choosing to Grow